Sisters

The decision for us to have a second child was a tough one. There were the normal worries about money, the fear of unforeseen medical issues, space in our house, etc. Were we ready to lose sleep? Rachel was so well trained and was sleeping from 7pm to 7 or 8am. That gave us time with her, time to ourselves, and time for us to sleep too. Then there were the fairness issues...is it fair to take away some attention from Rachel? For her to no longer be the only child, the center of our universe? Would there be enough love to go around? Would it be fair to the second child that she would never experience being an only child and our undivided attention like Rachel got to experience?

In the end, we decided to have a second. Money is still an issue. We have those unforeseen medical issues, but fortunately they should not affect Leah long term. We built on to our house to create the space. Sleep is even getting close to normal--while we had some regression from Rachel with some middle of the night visits, she seems to be through that for now, and Leah usually sleeps 9 hours on her first stretch. Both kids are asleep by 8:30 now which gives us some time to ourselves. There is also plenty of love to go around. Don't get me wrong--this is a lot tougher than we expected, and we are still struggling to find balance. But all in all, things seem to be working out. We are still tired and stressed, and the new routines definitely have worn on us, but it has been worth it.

The nagging issues to me have still been the issues of taking attention from Rachel, and Leah never getting to experience the full attention. Someone did say something the other day that made me feel better. Rachel got to benefit from experiencing us all to herself for 2 1/2 years. But Leah gets something even better--a big sister to follow around, learn from, laugh at, and to love and be loved by. Rachel loves her baby sister. She is so careful to be quiet when Leah is sleeping, to be aware of where Leah is so she doesn't step or fall on her, to only give hugs and kisses that a baby can handle. It is so sweet to see her dote on Leah and how she wants to help feed her, change her, and keep her from crying.

While I still feel some guilt (I am Jewish after all), I am so proud of Rachel's adjustment and I am looking forward to watching their relationship grow.